The biggest trial in my life has come.
Earlier this year, I made a lot of money from investments, which led to excessive confidence.
I kept making big bets, and ultimately, I faced significant losses.
It was a moment when I felt my mental state crumbling every day.
I couldn’t focus on work at all, and I experienced panic disorder symptoms for a while.
Just then, a project that needed to be completed urgently came up, and for a month, I focused on that work, spending all my time day and night.
Since I couldn’t think of anything else, I managed to hold on mentally until it was finished.
After the project ended, I fell back into burnout.
At work, zoning out became my routine.
I watched a lot of videos on mental illness on YouTube.
I learned about the concept of narcissism and realized there were quite a few narcissists around me, draining me without me even noticing.
My depression worsened. I can’t remember the last time I smiled genuinely.
Since I haven’t completely lost myself yet, I’m trying to rise again.
I hope this blog can serve as a stepping stone. I need to clean my house, start exercising again, and study more.
I recently had a job interview and felt pathetic for not being able to answer simple questions.
I’m feeling too anxious. It’s important to take things slowly and steadily. Even gaming no longer brings me joy; I feel like I can’t improve anymore.
I should spend that time cultivating myself moving forward.